Coming home

Henry was sat in his usual position in the reclining chair, watching reruns of Morecambe and Wise on tv, nursing a half glass of whiskey when Sarah walked in. He looked over at her as she set down her bag, took off her jacket and scarf and hung them up by the door. Something was wrong. Henry knew it from the way she walked in. Her shoulders were slumped and she was slouching slightly. That wasn't like her.
She walked over to him and gently kissed him on top of his head and breathed a meloncholic, "Hi daddy" before collapsing into a chair.
"Something wrong pickle?"
"I don't know dad... it's just..." She tailed of, staring out of the window as if looking for answers in the trees outside. There were none to be found and she looked back over to him before staring down at her feet. Henry shifted around in his chair to face her better. If she couldn't keep his gaze, there was something badly wrong. She was the only person on the planet that Henry knew could out stare him. She got her stubborn streak from him, there was no doubt about it.
"Just what?"
Sarah looked up at him from under heavy lids.
"Just... Look, I don't want you to go off at the deep end, but..."
"Who is he?"
Sarah looked surprised. She should know better by now.
"I may be many things Sarah, but stupid isn't one of them, you know that. There's not much that I miss." He took a swig at his glass.
"Old maybe, drunk possibly, but not stupid." He smiled and Sarah grinned from under her hair, which fell over her face in dark strands. There was something she wanted to tell him but didn't think she could. He knew this game. There was no use pushing, Henry had to just be patient and wait. That was not a problem. Henry could wait.
"It's just that I've got myself into this situation..."
Henry felt bile rise in his throat. If some young prick had got her pregnant, well it would be the last of him.
"Who is he?" There was a slight edge to henry's voice.
"No, not like that daddy," she always used 'daddy' when she wanted to placate him, "A different type of thing, but you are right, there is a guy involved."
"Of course I'm right."
They sat silent for a moment, Sarah fixing her gaze outside again. Henry leaned back into his chair.
"Look Sarah, I know what you think of me. You think I'm an old fashioned relic, that I don't want you to meet anyone. Maybe you even think I don't want you to be happy."
"No, I know you want me to be happy daddy and I don't think you're a relic!"
"Thanks pumpkin, but there's an element of truth in it anyway. I am old fashioned and I'm ok with that, it comes to every man eventually. The values that were cutting edge in your youth at some point become yesterday's news. It's sad but it happens."
He sighed into his glass and sipped gingerly.
"I've been... overprotective of you. I know I have. You're way past old enough to be doing whatever you like," Henry glared over the rim of his glass at Sarah, "Within reason of course. But you're a woman now, I should have little say in who you associate with."
Sarah sat, stunned. This was not the way she had been expecting the conversation to go.
"The problem with parents..." He paused and looked out of the window as she had done, "The problem with parents is that they think they know what's right for you and sometimes they don't, do they?"
Sarah gently shook her head.
"They want the best for you. They want to provide you with things that they never had. Most of all, they want you to avoid making the mistakes they made."
He rolled the glass around between his fingers, absentmindedly.
"Even though it all comes from good intentions, it's an evil thing to do to a child."
Sarah looked distressed at this and opened her mouth to speak, but Henry waved her down.
"It is. It's evil. The only way we learn is by fucking up. Remove the capacity to fuck up and people learn nothing for themselves. Parents want to correct mistakes they've made in their own lives by not allowing their kids to do the same. What we forget is that our kids are not us. Maybe they will make the same mistakes, maybe they won't, but it's the process that's important."
"Daddy, I've never heard you talk like this. Is everything ok?"
"Yes and no sweetie."
"Is mum ok? Is it a business thing?"
"No questions just yet Sarah, please."
Sarah clasped her hands together and nodded her assent.
"I feel the need for change Sarah. There are certain things I've done wrong in my life and even then there's not many I regret, but I regret not being a better father to you."
"Dad! How can you say that? You're a great father. I've always had everything I've ever needed or wanted!"
"No... no you haven't Sarah. You haven't had much freedom. Freedom of choice, freedom of expression or the freedom to make mistakes. I've been completely overbearing with you. You've hardly lived your life so far because I've been such an ogre that you've been afraid to make mistakes. That's no way to live Sarah."
Sarah shifted her chair closer to Henry's and placed her hands on his.
"If it helps dad, I've made a few mistakes that even you never found out about." She grinned slyly. Henry laughed loudly and drained his glass.
"I'm glad to hear it!" he roared. "I'd have been compelled to get all maudlin otherwise."
She leaned forward again and kissed him on the forehead.
"Silly old man." He grinned and grabbed her in one of his famous bear hugs, pulling her onto his knee.
"So this guy..."
"Dad!"
"Hang on, hear me out. This guy, is that who you've been with the last few days?"
She looked up at him sheepishly, feeling like a little girl again. Being sat on his knee didn't help. She nodded.
"Do you love him?"
Sarah nodded again. Henry winked at her.
"Cat got your tongue?"
She grinned and shook her head vigorously.
"Heh. Sarah... does he love you?"
"Yes."
"Good solid answer. I'm glad you're sure. Is he a good man?"
"He's... he's one of the good guys daddy."
"Hmm."
Sarah wasn't sure what was coming next. So far tonight had been a complete surprise.
"If you're waiting for me to give you permission to see this man, you'll have a long wait."
Sarah's heart sank. He'd tried to be ok with it, but obviously his old fashioned values still stood firm. Henry caught the look on her face.
"You don't need my permission Sarah. You make your own choices. As long as he treats you well and looks after you, then it's fine with me."
"Seriously?"
"Seriously. But if he mistreats you, I'll feed him his balls."
Sarah got up from the chair and walked over to the window, arms folded.
"What is it?"
"I just..." Henry could see tears welling at the corners of her eyes and felt the corresponding lump form in his throat. "I just wish you'd said this earlier."
Henry looked down at his shoes. It had been so long since he'd felt humbled that he struggled to realise what it was he was feeling for a moment. It was shame.
"I'm so sorry Sarah. Truly I'm sorry. I know I can't give you back all these years, but I can make sure things change from now on."
There was an awkward pause. Sarah continued staring out at the trees and Henry watched her.
"It's not that daddy. It's just if you'd only said something sooner, I wouldn't be in the situation I'm in now."
"I'm sorry Sarah. What kind of situation are you in? If I can help I will."
"No questions just yet Dad please."
"Ok. I respect that. If I can help, just ask."
She turned to him and her arms unfolded again and she put her hands in her pockets. A definite sign she didn't want to be pressed on the topic.
"Thanks Daddy, I will."
She walked over to the sofa again and sat down. Henry refilled his glass from the crystal decanter and held it up and nodded at Sarah.
"No thanks, whiskey's not my drink."
"What is? Jesus, listen to me. I've spent so long forbidding you to do anything that I don't even know what you like to drink!"
"Beer mostly. Occasionally vodka."
"Beer? Good god you really are a modern woman! I think there's some in the fridge."
Sarah got up and wandered through to the kitchen. Henry heard the fridge door open.
"Sarah?"
"Mmm?"
"Can I meet him?"
"Mmm?"
The fridge door shut again and Sarah padded back through.
"Sorry daddy, what did you say?"
"Can I meet him?"
"Who?"
"Your young bloke."
She sat down heavily on the sofa and took a pull at the bottle.
"I'm not sure dad, maybe now's not a good time."
"It's the perfect time! I promise I'll be on my best behaviour and it'll prove to you that I've changed!"
"I meant maybe it's not a good time for him."
"Oh... sorry, of course. Silly old man."
"Don't be like that. Look, finish your drink and go to bed. It's getting late. We'll talk about it more tomorrow if you like."
"I'd like that Sarah." Henry paused and downed the contents of his glass.
"You're right, it's past my bedtime," he said with a smirk, "I'll see you in the morning sweetheart."
Henry walked over to her and kissed her lightly on the top of the head.
"Night daddy."
She watched him go, listened to his footsteps on the stairs, heard the bedroom door shut. She took another swig of beer and thought about the irony of the situation. For the first time in her life her father was being reasonable about her making decisions for herself. Unfortunately his new attitude was about a week too late at best. Now all that remained was to figure out where to go from here.
Xerxes had mentioned going away together, but this might mean they could stay together here, providing her father made good on his promise. She wondered if there was any way of convincing her father that talking her boyfriend into shooting the family dog at a garden party would be seen as one of those forgivable mistakes he'd been saying she was supposed to make.
Jesus, they really hadn't thought this through. Her father being the man he was meant there was only a small chance that he wouldn't find out who had shot Pepper, considering the resources he had. It was probably just a matter of time and then he would really be tested on keeping his promise.
Other than that, the only options were to go away with Xerxes, or else break things off with him for his own protection. She wondered where they would go. Xerxes had mentioned Canada, but Sarah preferred the idea of Australia. A nice, hot country with pretty scenery and a good standard of living. Of course, you could say the same about Canada, but Sarah had never seen a Canadian soap opera, whereas all the Australian ones she'd seen made the place look pretty appealing.
Sarah stood up, finished her beer and set it down on the table top, knowing her mother would despair because she hadn't put it srtaight into the recycling, but also knowing her father would support her now. He really did seem to want to change and that could only be a good thing surely? As she thought this, her mind became clear and she had an epiphany.
She'd made her decision.